4:30-Accomplishing goals

Either you do it or you don't

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Either you do it or you don't 〰️

I could do it all. Wait, not really. I believed my body could move at a pace where everything I needed to get done would get done. I overestimated myself. I add so many things to my overflowing to-do list. I know this is impossible in the back of my mind, but I still put it on my list. It sounds crazy, but I believed I could get it done. You know what? It never gets done.

I created this blog a year ago. I wrote on my to-do list every day for a year to publish the website. It never happened. I was scared to post, but I felt like a failure whenever I pushed it back to another to-do list. I hate not completing tasks. I feel unorganized. I love writing to-do lists and crossing off a task. I feel accomplished, but the feeling is temporary. Want to know a secret? Every time I accomplished a goal, I felt nothing. I was looking for the next goal to achieve. I was in a rat race with myself. Then I became burnt out and blamed myself—a continuing battle with my internal self.

I continually seek another job, a new goal to complete, a new challenge, etc. I wanted the same feeling in a relationship—constant excitement, change, growth, and learning from one another. If I sit in the same space for too long, I start to blame the other for not being innovative or a go-getter. I hold them to a high standard. The truth, I feared complacent. I projected my goals onto my partner. I made excuses for not completing my to-do list tasks on a household task. Here begins the self-defeating.

My uncle Benny opened my eyes when he said, “Accomplishing goals becomes tiring; you need to enjoy the process.” This never occurred to me for 35 years of my life. Enjoy the process? I never thought about the process. I just moved in a way to get to the next level. I sat there and thought, wow, I am robbing myself of the joy. I’m so eager to finish; I forget why I am working toward it. I’m not too fond of this feeling or working this hard.

Writing this blog was the first time I enjoyed the process of completing a task. So, this is how it feels. I’ve been missing out. My uncle Benny was right; enjoying the process of your goals no longer feels like work. It feels like a passion.