Every week I catch myself in deep thought. I sit and reflect on the day or week in my mind. This can last for 5 to 10 minutes. I reflect on the things that bothered me. It’s like a tape recorder that keeps rewinding where I stop, think, and push play. It is hard to address things with your partner that bothered you when it took you a week to realize it triggered you. We move quickly and pick and choose the battles we want to address to keep the peace. I am the type of person that lingers on things that bother me. I try to pick the best time to address it. You know what? It is never a good time to address it. People say timing is everything, and I agree, but not addressing lingering issues becomes a pattern. I create stories in my head of how things will play out, and I stop myself from communicating effectively. One thing we forget as human beings with emotions, if we choose not to speak verbally, it will come out through our moods and body.

I was scared to bring up uncomfortable topics. I used to hold back the truth to keep the peace. I never said what was needed. I tried to sugarcoat the subject and include my faults as if I was the issue. The worst feeling is communicating a lie. People will resent you for telling the truth when you lied so often during the times they asked what was wrong, and you responded nothing. This was my favorite line. I never communicated what I truly felt because of fear.

We all know what needs to be said, and we ignore it. This is one of the things I hate. We both know what the issue is, and you bring it up, it starts an argument. This is called insecurity. Uncomfortable topics are hard to address due to low confidence in that topic. Relationships or marriages argue about finance due to being insecure about not making enough money. Men in relationships who do not desire to make more money, know their purpose, or challenge themselves to passive income become silent. Women who do not address this insecurity try to make up for it by making more money, increasing their stress, waiting to have kids, gaining weight, and ignoring the truth.

We all know the truth but hide in the dark. You remember that saying what is in the dark will come to light. This is true. You cannot hide from the truth. It will haunt you. It is hard to face the reality of uncomfortable topics, but you know what? We know from the beginning whom we sleep next to; the question is, are you willing to push through fear to have that uncomfortable conversation?