Hey, bleu bells, I want to give you all a full disclaimer on mental health. I do not have a medical degree, prescribe medication, or a personal therapist. I am discussing this topic based on my opinion, observation, and experience.

The term, mental health” has become increasingly popularized in mainstream culture in recent years. While it’s great that we are finally starting to acknowledge the importance of our mental well-being, this trend has a downside. Mental health has become commercialized. Am I crazy, but everyone is discussing mental health as a trending topic, like what Kim Kardashian is wearing to the Met Gala.

I remember living and surviving when this was known as a secret topic. Honestly, due to the numbers increasing among populations that are not black and brown, it has become a topic affecting the nation. Mental health has always and always will be an issue for ALL people. Acknowledging how societal trends and biases have shaped the conversation around mental health is essential. The fact that mental health is now considered a trending topic reflects the prevalence of mental health issues, particularly in white communities.

Growing up, I never had access to any support at home or school regarding emotional, psychological, and social well-being. It was never a conversation to talk about how you are feeling, what is affecting you, do you understand why I made this decision as your parent, and how it affects you. Nothing. You remember the saying kids are meant to be seen and not heard. That was childhood life. I learned to deal with emotions, stressors, reactions, and responses independently. I am still discovering how to deal with them healthily.

Want to know a secret? I took accountability for my mental health and stopped blaming others, mainly my parents, for not having the tools to engage in healthy relationships, insecurity, life and workplace stressors, and childhood trauma. I wanted more for myself, and it was my responsibility. For far too long, mental health has been stigmatized and relegated to a taboo topic, particularly in communities of color.

The generational curse continues with our generation. It begins and ends with you recognizing, seeking, and actively using resources to maintain a healthy lifestyle. I know it’s easier said than done. Trust me, I battle with this every day, but I use daily practices such as journaling, listening to podcasts, Mel Robbins, writing this blog, and, most important, accepting who I am and what happened to me in the past.  Unless you decide to practice for the rest of your life, you will continue to kick that silver can down the street. I believe 50% of the problem is not wanting or being ready to put in the necessary work to become mentally healthy.  The journey of becoming healthy in all aspects begins with you actively doing the work.

Mental health providers, therapists, and psychologists provide many tools to cope, practice, and adopt, but unless you are ready to use them, they are merely tools in a toolbox. I never had a successful experience with a therapist, so I started the journey of first accepting my past and how it affects my present life. This was the first step to admitting my hurt and allowing it to dictate my current and future self. I was functioning as the seven-year-old Shayeeda in an adult body. According to research, childhood trauma survivors present alcohol and drug dependence issues, deny their adversities’ negative impact on their well-being (especially if their parents inflicted it), and construct a false self-image to cope rather than self-isolate. We are all children in adult bodies trying to grow up and face challenges we never had the tools to tackle. So, when do we face that inner child and slowly help them to become safe?