This week I noticed how I speak negatively about myself and things I cannot control. I instantly caught myself complaining about driving in traffic. I started to create a problem that never existed. My frustration turned into a negative mindset, where I predicted everything would go wrong. I became caught up in my complaints and frustrations, feeding them more energy. My body became tense, and I started to rush between other cars, which almost caused an accident. My decision-making was not effective. I instantly stopped and became aware that I was the problem in this situation. Research says, As you become angry, your body’s muscles tense up. Inside your brain, neurotransmitter chemicals known as catecholamines are released, causing you to experience a burst of energy lasting up to several minutes. This burst of energy is behind the common angry desire to take immediate protective action.

Honestly, I am frustrated with my work ethic. I feel I should do more because I want more. I am not working hard enough. I feel bad when I watch Netflix or lay in bed and chill. I believe those who wish to do more will never stop if they genuinely like it, even when they get it. The words inspire me to want more. I envision a much more exciting life for myself. I can sometimes feel it so close but so far away. I want it, but do I want it bad enough? No more bullshit. Just go for it. Either you want it, or you don’t. Coach yourself through what you want.

The time is now—no more negative talk, hesitation, frustrations, guilt, playing the victim, or fear. I am tired of being a problem creator and ready to become a problem solver. It’s the time to coach yourself and develop the skills to navigate life’s challenges with resilience and a PROACTIVE mindset. Every issue has a pattern; we need to identify the patterns of problem creation, reframe our perspectives and coach ourselves to becoming effective problem solvers.

Through reflection, practical exercises, and action, we can build the skills to approach any obstacle with clarity and determination. We’ll develop the confidence and resourcefulness needed to tackle the most challenging situations by cultivating a problem-solving mindset. Below are four steps to help us coach ourselves through the challenges we will experience but can overcome.

1. Recognize the Pattern: The first step in self-coaching is to develop an awareness of the patterns of problem creation in your life. Take action back and observe how you respond to challenges. Are you quick to complain, overwhelmed, or get stuck in negative thought patterns? Recognize these tendencies without judgment; this awareness is critical to initiating positive change.

   
   

2. Reframe Your Perspective: Once you've identified the patterns, it's time to reframe your perspective. Shift your focus from dwelling on the problem to seeking solutions. Embrace a growth mindset that sees challenges as learning and personal development opportunities. Reframing your perspective opens new possibilities and allows you to approach obstacles positively and creatively.

   
   

3. Practice Self-Reflection: Self-reflection is a powerful tool in self-coaching. Take the time to reflect on your thoughts, emotions, and reactions to challenges. Ask yourself probing questions: What underlying beliefs or fears contribute to the problem? How can you reframe the situation to find a solution? Engage in journaling, meditation, or mindfulness practices to deepen your self-awareness and gain insights into your thought processes.

   
   

4. Take Action and Learn from Experiences: Coaching yourself involves taking intentional action to solve problems. Break down the challenge into smaller, manageable steps, and create an action plan. Be proactive and persistent in implementing the solutions you've identified. Remember that setbacks and failures are part of the learning process. Embrace them as opportunities for growth, learn from your experiences, and adjust your approach accordingly.

Throughout this journey, you'll build resilience, enhance problem-solving skills, and foster a proactive mindset. By following these steps and continuously practicing self-coaching, you'll develop the confidence and inner resources to navigate any challenge that comes your way. Remember, I never said it was easy; it’s just necessary.

Remember Coaching Yourself is a practice. We all have to start somewhere to recognize and act on becoming better.

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