5-14-communication
Come and talk to me
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Come and talk to me 〰️
For the past 34 years, communication has been a struggle. My past relationships failed because we didn’t communicate the truth. I always held back how I felt in all my relationships. I did not know how to face fear, so I crumbled. I just bit my tongue and lived a lie. It was a passive-aggressive monster I consistently fed inside me. It grew every day. I became resentful toward others, couldn’t look at myself in the mirror, and constantly broke down alone. I felt lost, but I knew it was due to not being brave.
It took me 35 years to tell my mother how much I resented her as an adult from my childhood. I stopped talking to my father in my early 20s due to not communicating how I felt about his absence growing up. I felt terrible about how I treated my brother growing up; I never stood up to him in my adult life. I enabled past friends’ behavior I disagreed with. The list goes on. I was a coward. I was scared to face the truth. It was unfair to the people in my life to not communicate how I felt.
Honestly, I was hiding from the brave Shayeeda
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Honestly, I was hiding from the brave Shayeeda 〰️
I used to believe that everyone I had a relationship with was a mind reader. I never communicated what I needed, what I was upset about, or what I did not feel comfortable doing because I was scared. I act as if they should know how I feel or what I don’t like by shutting down and isolating myself. I practiced the same behaviors in every relationship and expected a different outcome.
Is that insanity?
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Is that insanity? 〰️
I had expectations of others when I shared how I felt, and it never went how I wanted; you know why? I created a narrative about how they should react to my feelings. I made a cycle of miscommunication due to not receiving the response I wanted.
Communicating is not about the response you receive; it is about you pushing through fear to say what you feel and how it affects you. We may not receive the response we want from that individual, but I guarantee you will start to feel liberated in using your voice to communicate your needs and wants. This is not an easy practice if you are not accustomed to it.
It took me 35 years to communicate effectively in all relationships. I decided to communicate effectively, feeling so much pain and frustration I caused myself. I did not want to live a life of silence and agreed to face the consequences of losing people. Want to know a secret?
Sometimes it takes one conversation to reveal the truth on both sides.
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Sometimes it takes one conversation to reveal the truth on both sides. 〰️
Have you ever struggled with communication? What are ways you push through the fear? Please leave a comment below.