Navigating New Chapters during Pregnancy and Chasing Dreams
Hey Bleu Bells,
As the clock ticks down to just over two months until Sariah’s arrival, I find myself deep in thought, reflecting on what’s next for both of us. How do I maintain my essence and continue to pursue my passions while embracing motherhood? I’m afraid of losing who I am.
I slowly lost myself in my fashion and career goals before Sariah was born, when I stepped into a new role at work. I went into this minimal lifestyle with my style and focused all my time on my job. It wasn’t me. The clothes weren’t me; the job just paid the bills, and I went with it because it was routine, structured, and easy to do, but it didn’t make me happy. My direction went left. And it’s time to stir it back in the right direction. All bets need to be on ShayBleu.
Pink Plastic Melissa Boots, Size 7
For starters, I’ve somewhat neglected my shop and modeling dreams amidst my new career and the whirlwind of pregnancy. My love for thrifting and fashion isn’t just a hobby; it’s a part of who I am and the fabric that makes me me. I’ve felt small over the past year in this new career and used it as a crutch to avoid going all in with Shaybleu. I catch myself working all hours of the day in a job that doesn’t give a fuck about me. I’ve poured more of myself into my bi-weekly checks than into myself. The balance is off. I depend on a dollar amount that will never change.
I am not saying I will quit my job because it takes care of my needs. I am saying I can’t continue to put all my eggs in one basket, and when the job is not secure, I panic. I don’t want to live my life that way, I want to model different choices and behaviors for myself and my daughter.
I can’t expect her to make the better choices when I let fear stop me from making them. And now, as I stand at this crossroads, I realize the importance of not shelving these dreams but instead integrating them into my new life as a mom.
I am tired of being full of shit. I speak about what I want, but my actions show differently. I know what I can do, but I tend to do the opposite. That is what you call full of shit. And I go on and on about the life I want for myself and how I want the Shaybleu brand to be, but guess what? I am the brand, so it starts with ME.
Pink Knitted Hat, Size fits all
I feel that managing yourself is one of the most challenging jobs. I am so good at being managed because I know what is expected. Give me a job description, and I will blow it out of the park! But with Shaybleu I am building my own job description and expectations.
Calvin recently sparked a profound thought about not inadvertently placing my unfulfilled aspirations onto Sariah. It’s a valid point—how do we inspire our children without imposing our unmet dreams onto them? The answer, I believe, lies in leading by example.
I envision a life where Sariah sees her mom chasing dreams relentlessly, not constrained by age or societal norms. Beauty standards have evolved, and it's about showcasing real, authentic life. I want to relaunch my shop as a business and a testament to following your passion. I want to dive back into modeling, showcasing the pieces I love, pieces that tell a story. This isn’t just about clothes but the narrative we choose to live and share.
Moreover, I dream of creating a 'Bleu Skin Care' line. A line that represents resilience, embracing imperfections, and the beauty of realness. This is the legacy I want to build and the environment I wish for Sariah to grow up in—one where she sees her mother not just dreaming but doing.
So, as I prepare for her arrival, I’m also setting the stage for a resurgence of my passions. This isn’t just for me; it’s for her too. I want her to grow up knowing that her mom didn’t just care for her but also cared for her dreams. Her mom was a testament that you could be a loving, devoted mother and still rock the runway of your aspirations.
I’m more than just a soon-to-be mom; I’m a dreamer, a thrifter, a budding entrepreneur, and so much more. And as I navigate this incredible chapter, I want you all to see that it’s possible to nurture your dreams while nurturing a life.
So, here’s to not just dreaming but doing. To not just survive but thrive. And to all my fellow Bleu Bells, let’s make every chapter count for us and those who look up to us.
Stay tuned for this exciting journey. Let’s make it fabulous, one dream at a time!
Shaybleu 💙